Christmas has such a bright, sparkling way of arriving, doesn’t it?
The fairy lights begin to twinkle, the familiar songs drift through the shops, and everything seems to shimmer a little more than usual. It can be a beautiful, heart-lifting time of year.
But Christmas also has a quieter side.
A tender side.
A side where the heart remembers who it wishes was sitting right beside us.
Sometimes the missing catches us unexpectedly.
In the middle of wrapping a gift.
Hearing a song.
Laying the table.
Pausing by the window where the moon hangs over the rooftops.
Children feel this too — even if they don’t yet have the words to explain it.
They feel before they understand.
So missing someone might show up as:
A longer cuddle at bedtime
Tears that arrive suddenly
A quieter mood
Excitement that tips into overwhelm
Wanting to keep you close
These are not signs of “playing up” or “being too emotional.”
They are signs of love with nowhere to go.
We can meet that gently.
You might say:
“This is love. This is what love feels like when we want someone close. And it’s okay.”
Just that can soften the whole moment.
Simple, Gentle Rituals to Help Children (and us) Stay Connected
These don’t need planning or perfection — only presence.
1. Look at the moon together
The moon is one of the few things shared across every sky.
You can say:
“This is the same moon they see too. We can send a whisper.”
This is at the heart of my book
Whenever You Miss Me at Christmas, Look for the Moon.
In the story, when Mouse and Squirrel miss someone they love,
they look for the moon.
The moon holds the love for them.
You can do that too.
2. Hang a photograph on the tree
Simply tie it with ribbon.
Let your child choose where it hangs.
This is not about replacing the person.
It’s about remembering that love still belongs to them.
3. Draw or write something for the person you’re missing
It doesn’t matter if it gets posted or not.
The act of expressing love is the connection.
“We can love someone out loud, even when they’re not here.”
4. Create a tiny ritual
It could be:
Lighting a candle before dinner
Blowing a kiss into the air
Placing a hand gently on the heart
Small is enough.
Small is meaningful.
Small is where children feel held.
When the Person You’re Missing Isn’t Just Far Away, but Gone
Some families are missing someone who cannot return.
A grandparent.
A parent.
A friend.
A child.
A loved one who now lives in memory rather than in the room.
Christmas can make that absence ring like a bell.
Children may remember something small and beautiful —
the way they laughed, the way they stirred gravy, the way they hugged.
The missing is not something to fix.
It’s something to honour.
You can say:
“They loved you so much. We can remember them together.”
Memories don’t replace presence —
but they do hold connection.
They let love stay soft and alive instead of tucked away.
It’s okay to say their name.
To tell stories.
To laugh and cry in the same breath.
Both are allowed.
Both are love.
For the Grown-Ups (a quiet part, just between us)
If you’re missing someone this Christmas too, I understand.
My own family live overseas, and Christmas always carries both joy and a gentle ache for me.
There are moments full of warmth and laughter —
and then there are pauses, where a memory rises like a tide.
Missing someone does not cancel joy.
The two can sit side by side.
You don’t have to pretend to be “fine.”
You don’t have to sparkle every moment.
You don’t have to hide the wobble.
You’re allowed to say:
“I miss them. And I love them.”
That is not sadness ruining Christmas.
That is love remembering itself.
A Soft Close
Sometimes love is loud — all laughter and excitement and rustling wrapping paper.
And sometimes love is quiet — a memory that warms the chest, a pause at the window, a whisper to the sky.
Both are real.
Both are Christmas.
In Whenever You Miss Me at Christmas, Look for the Moon, Mouse and Squirrel learn that love continues — even when someone is far away.
When they miss them, they look for the moon.
And maybe you could do that too.
Just pause for a moment.
Look up.
Let the moon hold the feeling for you.
Because wherever we are,
whoever we are missing,
whoever we are loving —
the moon is shining for all of us.
🕯🌙
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